A Facetious and Highly Incomplete Guide to Vancouver Radio
As I was listening to the radio at work today, it occurred to me that in the course of the past 2 months, I have acquired a certain familiarity with a few stations in this area; not one that I would necessarily choose, but there you are. This knowledge is hardly doing any good just rattling around in my brain, so I thought I would share it with you, dear reader, and thus hopefully also purge from it its power to irritate me. So without further ado...The Guide.Jack FM
Dial Location:96.9
Content:A mishmash of bland inoffensiveness
Motto:Playing...what we WANT.
My Alternate Motto:Playing what the corporate office says we should. We and every other identical Jack station across North America. There are also some in the southern US that have a different male name, says Muffin, but that are clearly the same station because they also play "what they WANT".
Target Audience:Aging suburbanites who like to pretend that their biggest concern is still getting to third base, rather than paying for the bathroom renovation and treating their more-evident-by-the-day hair loss.
The Fox
Dial location: 99.3
Content: Mostly a lot of songs about pain
Motto: If it ROCKS....it's on...the Fox.
My Alternate Motto: We play music that has not yet stood the test of time! And probably won't!
Target Audience: tweens, and those who find the rampant misogyny droll and/or titillating
Rock 101
Dial Location: 101.1
Content:Classic rock, and irritating morning show chitchat
Often Heard:You're NEVER more than 2 minutes away from more classic rock.
My Alternate Motto:You're NEVER more than 2 minutes away from yet another assurance that you're no more than 2 minutes away from another dang song, which may well be about pain.
Target Audience:Old guys with ponytails, and hipsters who assume that the rampant misogyny is intended to be ironic.
And, in the interests of a nonbiased sample, I thought I would include a radio station that I actually like, though it's certainly never played at work...
CBC Radio 2
Dial Location:105.7
Content:Classical music, with the occasional tentative dip into the scary genre of world music, safely defanged through miscegenation with white people music.
Often heard:Pomposity
My Alternate Motto:We're desperately trying to conceal the fact that no one normal under the age of 50 finds us interesting.
Target Audience:Not people who talk like Danielle Charbonneau or Howard Dyck, strangely.
posted by annika fox @ 9:03 p.m.
5 Comments:
OH, I think you are being slightly unfair to CBC2. Especially Disc Drive which frequently plays folk music, world music, and the downright odd. Also I think you should have included Eric Freisen in the pomposity section. I think he is the Original Source. And also, who IS the target audience then?
Oh, I have to be as unfair to CBC as I am to those other stations. But you are right. Okay, I can include Eric Friesen. I think the real target audience is Mennonites between the ages of 45 and 100.
TRUE! Now all they need are some further Russian Mennonite names on the station... Peter Loewen, Rebecca Fast, Daniel Erb, Mary Klassen ;) or any other combination of biblical first name and Russo-European last name.
Haha. Are Russian Mennonites really more likely to use bibical names?
I don't know if they're more likely, but they were more predisposed to do so. Although I think my generation of Russian Mennonites are calling their kids messed up things. One cousin has a son named Bridger Klassen (what!?) and another Pablo Klassen (again...what!?) and the latest baby is Milo Klassen.
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